Do you ever feel like a fake? Like no matter how genuine you think you are, or are truly trying to be, your words don’t feel like they’re your own? I struggle with this everyday. I honestly don’t know how to interact with people, yet constantly put myself in situations where I have to. I love people, but I over analyze my actions, my words, my thoughts, and then I do the same to everyone else. I can’t quit. It’s such a habit it drives me crazy, making me horribly silly sometimes. I want people to like me. I want people to accept me. I want people to love me. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, except I want it out of everyone I meet. I simply cannot accept when people do not like me.
I. Can’t. Accept It.
I will literally get my mind and my heart into this worried ball of disgusting angst when I think someone is upset with me. It really is a terrible mess of thoughts and fear and ugliness that I get myself into. And for what? I work so hard on building all of these friendships and crumble when they don’t work out or grow distant. I badger myself with questions, what did I do wrong? What did I say? Why doesn’t this person like me? I. I. I. Me. Me. Me. Selfishly, I become anxious instead of remembering that…
God. Is. In. Charge. Here.
I don’t stop and think about the seasons God has planned for me. I don’t remember that when the summer ends the leaves begin to change their colors and fall begins. I forget that God places some people in our lives for only a season and for only His reason. So let’s get over ourselves (myself). Some people are not meant to stay in our lives forever, but are placed just so perfectly to prepare us for the next seasons of our lives. So let us remember that the next time we are going batty analyzing something we’ve said, concocting all of these scenarios where no one likes us anymore and we are alone in a corner…moping.
Let. Us. Not. Mope.
Let us choose joy when dealing with people that may not like us, and allow ourselves to accept the people God has placed in our lives, and move on with grace when He takes them away.
Cheer up, and read up…