I don’t know what gave me the notion to paint feathers. I had flowers on the brain because my sister in law who gave me the canvas just showed me a really pretty flower painting. But flowers are hard, and my hand and my brush (my God and His tools) knew better what I needed and the feathers just began to sprout.
So while I’m painting this very first picture, my mind went back to the freedom to feel and think thoughts I hadn’t quite sorted out yet. And the fear I had to start up that path.
A boyfriend once broke up with me with the song Freebird by Lynyrd Skynryd…I can laugh at myself now, and my silly broken heart, but at that time I hated that stupid song.
“If I stay here with you, girl
things just couldn’t be the same
Cause I’m as free as a bird now
and this bird you cannot change.”
I thought back to this song, and I thought again of this boy and the freedom he was asking for. He wanted to be free to start up his own path. He wanted to go places, and had to sacrifice someone he cared for in order to get there. (Were we really this deep as teenagers? NO. Actually this meant he wanted to date other people, and it wouldn’t be fun anymore if we continued dating. But praise God for maturing our hearts and letting this old memory and song speak to me.)
God spoke to me through a breakup song and a picture of feathers. He said I couldn’t keep the old hurts in my heart. If I wanted the freedom to be “as free as a bird.” I had to feel, deal, and let go. I had to change so I could grow.
And he gave me this verse:
“He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Psalm 91:4
The freedom I wanted would come only through Jesus. And he would get me there, for freedoms sake! When my heart pours out and the hurt overflows, I am covered by His feathers. Under His wings I am safe to feel. And he is so faithful to guard my brokenness, and help me fight the fight for my freedom.